Stay Golden

FAMILY FORTUNE

“Many people think excitement is happiness. But when you are excited you are not peaceful. True happiness is based on peace.”- Tich Nhat Hanh

“Righty- o, bye so Ryan, thanks a million, God bless”

The man I had just heard say goodbye to Ryan Tubridy was called Tom. I had decided to flick on the radio a mere 2 minutes previously and had caught the arse end of the show.  I heard Tom tell Ryan he had recently decided to sell his Post Office and move to Sri Lanka with his wife to begin a new life as guest owners in a place called Happy Bay. I decided to reach out to Tom and suss it out a bit more so I contacted the guest house via Facebook messenger. I wanted to ask Tom a few things about his life and business. Plus I thought perhaps I’d take a jolly jaunt over to Happy Bay-after all who wouldn’t want to go to a sun drenched place named Happy Bay? I received a very prompt reply from the guest house manager  who informed me that Tom was not currently in Sri Lanka. He was at his daughter’s wedding…in CORK!

I got his number and phoned him up straight away. We arranged to meet for a coffee the following day, as he, in another stroke of coincidence would be passing through my hometown. We met in a pub and had a lovely chat. We talked about his family, the events that led to them leaving Ireland, the practicalities of running a business on Asian soil, the leases, the labour costs, the cultural nuances etc and Tom was very honest regarding the pros and cons. Of course, the pros far outweighed the cons to my burning ears.  So finally after 4 months of  fearful paralysis I had a plan. I decided my next move would be to Sri Lanka, to research opening up a guest house- just like Tom and Bernie. I booked myself on a flight. I decided to email The Tubridy show again to tell them the scéal and within a few minutes Susan, the show’s lovely researcher phoned me to invite me on air to talk about life, choices and the soul’s yearning for change.

***

-“Ok Ryan, thanks a million. Lovely speaking to you!”

-“ You too Liz!” he quipped. “We’d like to follow your story so stay in touch now and we’ll talk again when you arrive in Sri Lanka!” The producer cut in straight away and congratulated me on a very lively, honest and interesting interview.

Good Jaysis!

This was really happening.

A few texts and calls came in from friends and family, all utterly lovely and encouraging but  one in particular will stay with me.  A stranger contacted me via this blog to say he had been driving in his car in Brighton, England and had heard me chatting. He said he felt compelled to contact me. He wrote: “Liz, well done to you for recognising the need for change in your life and for having the courage to follow through with a plan. It may not be your ideal plan yet, but the course correction has started and your new journey is unfolding. Advanced happy 40^th for August.”

From a perfect stranger.

 The tears came to my eyes when I read that. Humans can be so utterly lovely to each other sometimes, and I will always try to live by the guiding principal that human love and  the need for connection will always outweigh hatred and the need for segregation.  

Are you listening Donald Trump, you incomparable idiot?

Another email came through from a lovely woman in Wexford whose own story and link to Sri Lanka prompted the Tubridy show to contact her husband also for a chat. It’s a beautiful story and well worth a playback if you get a chance. This woman’s husband had lost his shirt during the recession, he lost hotels, homes, and millions of euro. In the darkest of places he found light in Sri Lanka and began a fundraising drive to build orphanages over there, helping at a time, when I imagine he was at rock bottom himself. This couple now run over 14 orphanages in SL, one which is called the “Cork Boys Home”, 3 crèches and a small college of education. Building on their first hotel is also underway. Remarkable stuff! I was due to make a visit to The Cork Boy’s Home at some point in my travels.  Michelle sent me many emails after the show- she gave me travel tips, sample itineraries, advice, encouragement and by pure and utter coincidence her husband was flying out the same day as me to Colombo! Now, destiny is not a concept I normally subscribe to. I tend to think life is comprised of a series of decisions that we make- big ones and ‘ickle ones and maybe a bit of karma thrown in too but I really was beginning to believe that maybe destiny was playing a part in all this. I started packing my bags!!!

The days and weeks melted away. It is very difficult to describe how I felt during those days because I don’t think I even knew myself. It seemed that Sri Lanka was a good idea, the signs were definitely there but there was one thing happening that I didn’t like…..it was fast becoming heavily pregnant with expectation. And expectations can be exceedingly dangerous. I also wondered how wise it was to be straying so far away from family and friends at a time when my life was undergoing mammoth change.

The thing is you see, my family are my people. I’ve been lucky to have made some very deep and meaningful friendships over the years but it is my family that are my most trusted support network. I sometimes wonder what it is I must have done in a former life to have been given them in this one? Naturally we argue and disagree and we see the world very differently at times. We also harbour very mixed opinions on say, the musical plausibility of Coldplay- but all our arguments, our niggling and even the hurt is borne from that same sheltered cove in our hearts- Love. So I was beginning to seriously question if I really wanted to start a new life so far away from these guys.  But I didn’t have time to be dwelling on these thoughts- I had a mere couple of weeks to get ready.  I drove on with my plans and started researching Sri Lanka. It all looked so beautiful- the temples, the rolling surf, the food, the old fashioned fun steam trains puffing through world famous tea plantations. I love tea. And trains.

Easter glided in with welcome and cloudless warmth. I was due to fly out in eight days’ time. I found myself in Dublin, eating, drinking and trampolining (in that ridiculous order) in the garden of my brother’s house. I remember standing in the middle of the living room with my baby niece in my arms, singing to her softly. She lay on me like a doll, floppy and relaxed, her angelical soft and sallow cheek resting on my shoulder. It was at that moment I knew I wasn’t ready to go.  I was trying extravagantly hard to be ‘excited’ but I just felt off, uncertain and a little overwhelmed. House sale, job resignation and now a rash move to the other side of the world with no plan all in the space of 4 months. Too much. I sang and swayed and rubbed her darling little back but it was she that soothed me in those moments, more than she will ever know. I’ll be sure to tell her one day.

The following morning my brother called at me from his room to check my phone, “something awful has happened in Sri Lanka- a bomb” I jumped online and scrolled through the incoming news with disgusting familiarity. Another terrorist attack. Churches and hotels had been blown to high heavens snuffing out precious life yet again. I watched as the death toll number rocketed like a petrol gauge. Senseless, gut churning horror. This exquisite island, ironically shaped like a teardrop, was being attacked at its beautiful core, and was bleeding out chaotically. The Irish Department of Foreign Affairs were advising against all non-essential travel. As the instability and news of further bombs continued, going there didn't feel like a good option anymore. I felt the tide change on the whole affair. A week later,  still news of curfews, empty streets and more attacks continued to flow from the capital Colombo, I agreed to a refund from Emirates and called the whole thing off.

One sobering fact remained, had I booked a flight for a few days earlier than my actual flight date, I'd have been in Negombo, in a hotel, slap bang in the middle of one of the worst terrorist attacks since 9/11.  

The next few days had me scrambling to make a new plan. A friend offered me her apartment in Vancouver, another offer came in from Colombia.. Should I stay in Cork? Get a job? I really didn't don't want to teach again, at least not in Ireland. What else could I do? I applied for a few jobs and kept myself busy and focused. I made friends with the fact that a trip to Sri Lanka might come at a later stage and who knows maybe I'll get to share it with someone! As I placed my Lonely Planet guide book back onto the shelf a curious mixture of sadness and relief washed over me.

Enter The Mammy stage left.

“Come on away over to Mallorca with me for a holiday to see your brother, and just have a bit of craic with your family, it’ll do you good and Palma is supposedly a great city!” she chimed. I was adamant I needed to put my head down now more than ever and create a new plan, that and after 5 months living together we needed a break from each other. I told her to head away on her own.

Then the night before the flight,

I decided to go…


xxx