FAMILY FORTUNE
“Many people
think excitement is happiness. But when you are excited you are not peaceful.
True happiness is based on peace.”- Tich Nhat Hanh
“Righty- o, bye so Ryan, thanks a million, God bless”
The man I had just heard say goodbye to Ryan Tubridy was
called Tom. I had decided to flick on the radio a mere 2 minutes previously and
had caught the arse end of the show. I
heard Tom tell Ryan he had recently decided to sell his Post Office and move to
Sri Lanka with his wife to begin a new life as guest owners in a place called
Happy Bay. I decided to reach out to Tom and suss it out a bit more so I
contacted the guest house via Facebook messenger. I wanted to ask Tom a few
things about his life and business. Plus I thought perhaps I’d take a jolly
jaunt over to Happy Bay-after all who wouldn’t want to go to a sun drenched
place named Happy Bay? I received a very prompt reply from the guest house manager
who informed me that Tom was not currently
in Sri Lanka. He was at his daughter’s wedding…in CORK!
I got his number and phoned him up straight away. We arranged
to meet for a coffee the following day, as he, in another stroke of coincidence
would be passing through my hometown. We met in a pub
and had a lovely chat. We talked about his family, the events that led to them
leaving Ireland, the practicalities of running a business on Asian soil, the
leases, the labour costs, the cultural nuances etc and Tom was very honest regarding
the pros and cons. Of course, the pros far outweighed the cons to my burning ears.
So finally after 4 months of fearful paralysis I had a plan. I decided my
next move would be to Sri Lanka, to research opening up a guest house- just
like Tom and Bernie. I booked myself on a flight. I decided to email The
Tubridy show again to tell them the scéal and within a few minutes Susan, the show’s
lovely researcher phoned me to invite me on air to talk about life, choices and
the soul’s yearning for change.
***
-“Ok Ryan, thanks a million. Lovely speaking to you!”
-“ You too Liz!” he quipped. “We’d like to follow your story
so stay in touch now and we’ll talk again when you arrive in Sri Lanka!” The producer
cut in straight away and congratulated me on a very lively, honest and
interesting interview.
Good Jaysis!
This was really happening.
A few texts and calls came in from friends and family, all
utterly lovely and encouraging but one
in particular will stay with me. A stranger
contacted me via this blog to say he had been driving in his car in Brighton,
England and had heard me chatting. He said he felt compelled to contact me. He
wrote: “Liz, well done to you for recognising the need for change in your life
and for having the courage to follow through with a plan. It may not be your
ideal plan yet, but the course correction has started and your new journey is
unfolding. Advanced happy 40th for August.”
From a perfect stranger.
The tears came to my
eyes when I read that. Humans can be so utterly lovely to each other sometimes,
and I will always try to live by the guiding principal that human love and the need for connection will always outweigh
hatred and the need for segregation.
Are you listening Donald Trump, you incomparable idiot?
Another email came through from a lovely woman in Wexford
whose own story and link to Sri Lanka prompted the Tubridy show to contact her
husband also for a chat. It’s a beautiful story and well worth a playback if
you get a chance. This woman’s husband had lost his shirt during the recession,
he lost hotels, homes, and millions of euro. In the darkest of places he found
light in Sri Lanka and began a fundraising drive to build orphanages over there,
helping at a time, when I imagine he was at rock bottom himself. This couple
now run over 14 orphanages in SL, one which is called the “Cork Boys Home”, 3 crèches
and a small college of education. Building on their first hotel is
also underway. Remarkable stuff! I was due to make a visit to The Cork Boy’s Home at
some point in my travels. Michelle sent
me many emails after the show- she gave me travel tips, sample itineraries,
advice, encouragement and by pure and utter coincidence her husband was flying
out the same day as me to Colombo! Now, destiny is not a concept I normally
subscribe to. I tend to think life is comprised of a series of decisions that we
make- big ones and ‘ickle ones and maybe a bit of karma thrown in too but I
really was beginning to believe that maybe destiny was playing a
part in all this. I started packing my bags!!!
The days and weeks melted away. It is very difficult to describe
how I felt during those days because I don’t think I even knew myself. It seemed
that Sri Lanka was a good idea, the signs were definitely there but there was
one thing happening that I didn’t like…..it was fast becoming heavily pregnant
with expectation. And expectations can be exceedingly dangerous. I also wondered
how wise it was to be straying so far away from family and friends at a time
when my life was undergoing mammoth change.
The thing is you see, my family are my people. I’ve been lucky to have made some
very deep and meaningful friendships over the years but it is my family that are
my most trusted support network. I sometimes wonder what it is I must have done
in a former life to have been given them in this one? Naturally we argue and disagree
and we see the world very differently at times. We also harbour very mixed opinions
on say, the musical plausibility of Coldplay- but all our arguments, our niggling and even the hurt is borne from that same sheltered cove in our hearts- Love. So I was beginning to seriously question if I really wanted to start a new
life so far away from these guys. But I didn’t have time to be dwelling on these
thoughts- I had a mere couple of weeks to get ready. I drove on with my plans and started researching
Sri Lanka. It all looked so beautiful- the temples, the rolling surf, the food,
the old fashioned fun steam trains puffing through world famous tea plantations.
I love tea. And trains.
Easter glided in with welcome and cloudless warmth. I was
due to fly out in eight days’ time. I found myself in Dublin, eating, drinking
and trampolining (in that ridiculous order) in the garden of my brother’s house. I remember standing in the middle of the living room with my baby
niece in my arms, singing to her softly. She lay on me like a doll, floppy and relaxed,
her angelical soft and sallow cheek resting on my shoulder. It was at that
moment I knew I wasn’t ready to go. I
was trying extravagantly hard to be ‘excited’ but I just felt off, uncertain
and a little overwhelmed. House sale, job resignation and now a rash
move to the other side of the world with no plan all in the space of 4 months.
Too much. I sang and swayed and rubbed her darling little back but it was she
that soothed me in those moments, more than she will ever know. I’ll
be sure to tell her one day.
The following morning my brother called at me from his room to
check my phone, “something awful has happened in Sri Lanka- a bomb” I jumped online
and scrolled through the incoming news with disgusting familiarity. Another
terrorist attack. Churches and hotels had been blown to high heavens snuffing
out precious life yet again. I watched as the death toll number rocketed like a
petrol gauge. Senseless, gut churning horror. This exquisite island, ironically
shaped like a teardrop, was being attacked at its beautiful core, and was
bleeding out chaotically. The Irish Department of Foreign Affairs were advising against all non-essential
travel. As the instability and news of further bombs continued, going there didn't feel like a good option anymore. I felt the tide change on the whole affair. A week later, still news of curfews, empty streets and more attacks continued to flow from the capital Colombo, I agreed to a refund from Emirates and called the whole thing off.
One sobering fact remained, had I booked a flight for a few days earlier than my actual flight date, I'd have been in Negombo, in a hotel, slap bang in the middle of one of the worst terrorist attacks since 9/11.
One sobering fact remained, had I booked a flight for a few days earlier than my actual flight date, I'd have been in Negombo, in a hotel, slap bang in the middle of one of the worst terrorist attacks since 9/11.
The next few days had me scrambling to make a new plan. A friend offered me her apartment in Vancouver, another offer came in from Colombia.. Should I stay in Cork? Get a job? I really didn't don't want to teach again, at least not in Ireland. What else could I do? I applied for a few jobs and kept myself busy and focused. I made friends with the fact that a trip to Sri Lanka might come at a later stage and who knows maybe I'll get to share it with someone! As I placed my Lonely Planet guide book back onto the shelf a curious mixture of sadness
and relief washed over me.
Enter The Mammy stage left.
“Come on away over to Mallorca with me for a holiday to see your brother, and just have a bit of craic with your family, it’ll do you good and Palma is supposedly a great city!” she chimed. I was adamant I needed to put my head down now more than ever and create a new plan, that and after 5 months living together we needed a break from each other. I told her to head away on her own.
Then the night before the flight,
I decided to go…
xxx
Then the night before the flight,
I decided to go…
xxx
