Stay Golden

Niall

“Among the few hundred people we regularly encounter not very many are likely to be the sorts of exceptional individuals who exhaust our imagination with their good qualities, who strengthen our soul and whose voices we want consciously to adopt to bolster our better impulses.” –Alain de Botton.

My cousin Niall visits us often and few are the visitors that bring as much unbridled laughter and joy when they call as he does. The same routine takes place, his supremely dedicated and heroic mother- my aunt Paula, usually drops Niall to Ballyvolane shopping centre from Cobh.  A greeting from this young man; you can be certain, will be like no other you’ll have received that day. When Niall greets you a smile emerges that has made its way up through his body from the tips of his toes and shines out his face, a bright sunshine yellow moment caught in time. The loving grip of his warm soft hands takes yours, a veritable glove of compassion and understanding, fit for each and every season in time. We pack his bags, his coat and his trusty guitar into the car and away we go. Seatbelts on, radio off, phones cast aside, time to chat and catch up. He usually begins by telling us about his day and the week that was. The stories are not out of the ordinary, the usual exchanges about work, life and people all tied together with a healthy dose of devilment and mischief from himself!  Naturally, it’s not always sunshine and smiles and with great honesty he relays his episodes of frustration and annoyances but he tries with some help not to linger on the negative and usually  he’ll cap off a little moan with a typical “ah shur, that’s life."

Niall has Downs Syndrome, by the way. Downs Syndrome is complex and cannot be defined absolutely in a piece of writing such as this (or any) but for the most part some of the symptoms of his Downs (as I see them) are as follows:

      Eyes that slant upwards: a constant reminder that this boy, now a man, looks up to; and helps us look up to something bigger, higher and more wondrous than ourselves, whatever that may be.

     Narrow eye openings: so that his gaze can focus in on your heart more closely, forgetting all external distractions, as he talks with you, never at you or your body shape or clothes or hair, just a little red beating heart peeping out through the blue tinted window of a perfect soul, trying to connect with yours.

 A face that may be flatter like a full enchanting moon that would stop you in your tracks on a late walk home,  pale but strong enough to light up the darkest of nights.

     A head that may be smaller: not enough space nor need for too much ego satisfying intellect inside this particular skull. Niall’s intelligence comes from his heart, mainly. It is the heart and not the mind that is the centre of his being.


      Broad feet with short toes: Niall treads lightly on the soils of this Earth. He once told me that he likes to wash the feet of others, he said it makes him feel ‘holy’ and ‘close to God-my real father.' And then hilariously before you can say ‘Luke Kelly’ he will be up on those just washed twinkle toes, beer in hand and dancing wildly to the sound of some mad Irish jig, leapin’ and a hoppin’ and a high kickin' at a rate that would make Michael Flatley dizzy.  Again, we all laugh, god the laughter, sometimes one of us has to leave the room with the height of hilarity, tummy clutching, I-can't- breathe- laughing and the singing and the dancing goes on. This time yesterday we were working or reading or watching TV or giving out about something or other…

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Who knows where any of us truly comes from? We are made biologically by our parents, their love for each other and life’s longing for itself.  Love, lust, need, want and science all ready to create something in one particular perfect or imperfect moment.

On the last night of Niall’s visit as I stood with him and gently bathed his troublesome left eye; one swipe only from the inside corner outwards with a warm cotton pad, I was again reminded to see the world through the eyes of this blue eyed Cork boy; to feel the essence of his pure heart and  to realise he is one of the most precious and valued visitors to our home and to our universe. We love him like no other.